© Something Borrowed Something Blue

A Season's Reflection

December 15, 2015

 

The semester is over.  Two weeks ago, I wasn’t even sure how I was going to get through.  But here I am, and the only explanation is the power and grace of God.  He took care of me even when I didn’t know to acknowledge it.  And this has been true every single semester.

 

This is the lesson, more than anything else, which I have learned from my time with SBSB.  God’s provision for the group has reminded me time and time again to renew my trust in Him.  As a member of SBSB leadership, it can sometimes be even more difficult to remember that SBSB exists, as written in our constitution, for one purpose – “to glorify God.”  It’s tempting, because of the personal investment I have in the group, to find self-worth in tangible results and seek to control every outcome.  But when I am helpless to lead, and I am in need of him, I am humbled by the fact that He, not any of us, is in control and we are called to give Him, not ourselves, the glory.  I am comforted by the fact that His plan is greater than anything I can imagine.

 

Two and a half years ago, my friend (and current alto) Mikayla convinced me to try out for SBSB on a whim.  I didn’t expect to get in, but I was called back and eventually accepted by the slimmest of margins.  God had a plan.

 

Four months later, I applied for the leadership position of Spiritual Coordinator, currently known as Fellowship and Outreach Coordinator (since there’s no need to “coordinate” the Spirit of God!).  Even as a freshman, I had the joy of working among a wonderful leadership team that has become more like siblings to me than coworkers.  

 

Two months later, on our annual spring break trip (SBSBSB), I found the courage and peace of mind (barely) to open up about my sexuality for the first time.  Through the unconditional friendships of those in the group, God demonstrated to me His perfect love that casts out all fear.  I knew I could trust Him, because He had a plan for me beyond anything I could ever imagine.

 

The next fall semester, SBSB found me in my darkest moments, when health, relationships, and happiness fell apart around me.  I was lost, but SBSB remained a constant, and I was far from the only one who was lost.  Through mutual brokenness, our group found an unshakeable strength in the ultimate prize of Christ’s redeeming sacrifice.  In Him was strength in our weakness, joy in our suffering, and hope in things unseen.  

 

We titled our new album “Lost and Found” as a testament to God’s faithfulness.  When we found ourselves short of funds to afford the album, God provided the exact amount we needed through the miraculous contribution of an anonymous donor.  I had already given up hope, but God was not, and would never be, done with us.

 

SBSB has experienced a lot of turnaround lately.  In the beginning of the fall semester, God provided to our existing family seven new members and one returning member who have so beautifully become the lifeblood and treasure of the group.  The ways that each and every one of them has enjoyed, loved, and served both God and others has given me more encouragement as a leader than I could ever imagine giving to them.

 

How could I miss it?  By His persistence, and not my own, I’ve learned to increasingly see the ways in which he works in our group and in our lives.  He works in our rehearsals, through music that speaks of glory far beyond our latest failure, through worship that gives us joy when little else can, and through broken moments of precious fellowship when all we really need is another shoulder to cry on.

 

He works in our concerts, through messages that we didn’t even know that we could convey and through preparation that He made for us even when we felt cripplingly inadequate.  He works in the ways that communities of good people bless us with their hospitality on our annual Spring Break trips, and through the ways that fellow people of all age groups join us in response to the words and melodies of song.

 

Every day, every second, He is working.  Because of His infinite love, He will never tire of reminding us that He is with us to the end of the ages.

 

Thank you, God.

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